how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
