i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
