So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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