Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
