i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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