Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
