I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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