I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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