I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
