Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
