Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
