how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
