Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
