During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
