We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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