Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
