I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
