So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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