oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
