I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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