glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
