You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
