I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize