Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
