if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
