Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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