VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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