TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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