cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
