He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize