went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
