Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
