The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
