Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
