The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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