I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
