Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
