Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
