I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
