I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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