i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
