you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
