Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
