I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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