I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
