i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
