just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
