She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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