they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
