What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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