He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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