Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
