god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
