JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I want is dick and wine.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
