I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
