"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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