thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
