Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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