Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
