will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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