did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
