you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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