Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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